Two Hundred Thirty Five

This is my weight.

Happy about it? YES
Sad about it? YES


I've officially lost 19.5 lbs. I am really happy about this.
I've officially got 90 more to go.

It just seems to be taking forever.... I DO know why.

I really and truly am trying to work exercise into my life again. My time is so limited. I know I need to work in just 60 minutes a day... just 60 minutes. I am thinking I just need to get up an hour earlier to do this. Get it done. Out of the way. Over with. in the morning. I know I will feel better, I know this weight will drop off like mad.

I also know that I need to quit having a free day here and there. On Friday, Jeremy came and picked me up for lunch. We went to Ruby Tuesday. I had a Salad, and and 1/2 of a turkey sandwich with only one slice of bread-- so open face.

On Friday night-- I skipped dinner-- I was very full.

On Saturday I started out right. Tuna with some pita chips. Very good. Then, for dinner I had 2 pieces of pizza. I guess in reality I didn't do so badly.

On Sunday I ate some chicken/cheese casserole (made with low fat stuff) then for dinner, I had bbq chicken tenders and potato wedges... Bad.

Today-- I am right back on track until Dinner-- Hubby is taking me out tonight for our 5th year anniversary. I do plan to make the right choices. However, I've skimmed a few hundered calories off lunch today so I have some extra to spare for a nice glass of wine or something like that.

I don't know. I know that the way I've been doing this is good. The weight is coming off slow and steady, I can live forever, eating the way I am now. Having a treat here and there, working extra hard the next day to catch up. Forgive and forget mentality, pick yourself up and move forward thinking. I like that. I can do that. BUT I know it will take longer.

Should I go back to complete restriction? Not even so much as smelling a bad piece of food for fear of gaining weight from the simple aroma of something? Exercise every day, sometimes twice? Being so focused that nothing else matters? I do believe the last time, I was borderline eating disorder in that I was totally obsessed with losing weight.

I think I need to be in a happy medium of the two I just described. I'll find my groove-- I am doing well, I'll admit. I think I could be doing even better.

I've got something to lose for... (besides myself, my family and my overall well being--as if that isn't enough right?). We're planning a vacation to Disney with a few other families next October (A year from now). We go on vacation every year, usually in March. We've gone to Florida almost every year. This past year we went to St. Pete's beach FL. on the gulf of Mexico. Carson's first real vacation. It was a blast. We had originally scheduled to go there again this March but My sister in law wanted to know if we'd like to do Disney with them. I think Carson would really enjoy Disney this time next year. So we'll skip the quiet Gulf of Mexico vacation and go for the gusto in Disney. That's what parents do for their kids! I've also invited my best friend, hubby and her 2 kids. So we're now working on the plans for this. I will lose all my weight by then!

I guess I got off track a bit there. Alrighty then. I shall get going. My office smells like shit. Not sure what's going on here. I need to investigate. TTFN!
G